This is a milestone week for me; I am another year older, hopefully wiser, and have decided to begin this journey by beginning a blog. It has been a while since I kept a journal and perhaps this is a way to re institute putting thoughts on paper. I don't know if it will be read by anyone, but I believe the value is in the composition more than in the audience. So I begin.

My over riding thoughts just now center around my increasingly feeble attempts at parenting. Yesterday was Mother's Day and my own mother died when my first child was 5 years old. I have spent the bulk of my career working with children and their parents and although I have a lifetime of experiences, I seem to have few answers.

My children amaze me each day. It is a little tricky having an almost grown daughter who feels ready to spread her wings and a young son who still filters most of his world through his parents. I believe in helping children to become independent, yet the thought of her stepping out into the world without me is terrifying. Always bright, fearless, eager to try new things, and happy, she is passionate about the injustices in the world and is going to Africa this summer to do her part to make a difference. I am proud, excited, nervous, fearful, and expectant all at once. The last sixteen years have gone so quickly and daily I think of things I want her to know before she goes off to college.

My son has a heart of gold. He is imaginative, thoughtful, bright, and struggles with processing basic academic information. I have spent my life as an educator and yet feel like a failure when it comes to helping him learn. I want to celebrate his uniqueness and am angry that he must conform to be considered successful. As I observe him daily I so admire his innocent love of life.

I am thankful that of all the attributes of God, He refers to Himself most often as our Father. His example to us of how to parent our children with unconditional love is one of the gifts for which I am most grateful. I want to give good gifts to my children, to love them, to support them, and to guide them. Most of all, I want to point them to their Heavenly Father who, unlike this earthly mother, does know what is best for them in all situations. I will continue to pray for wisdom and take it one day at a time, but at the end of the day, each day, I must give them back to their Father and ask Him to work through my good intentions to accomplish His perfect plan. After all, they are simply on loan to me.